This book offers an excellent introduction to the issues of attachment in children and teenagers. It helps parents and carers understand how trauma can manifest in many ways — aggression, lying, anger, stealing, or general defiance — and shows how an adult’s response to such behaviours can directly affect a child’s ability to form secure attachment.

For those of us raised with “traditional” parenting approaches, our instinct may be to respond to defiance with control or punishment. This book presents a different perspective: therapeutic parenting that begins with empathy and acknowledges the child’s feelings. Forbes and Post demonstrate how this love-based, empathetic approach is far more effective in helping traumatised children heal and thrive.

The real strength of the book lies in its practical examples, which offer clear methodologies for parents, carers, and practitioners working with children who struggle with attachment. It is an accessible, compassionate, and highly recommended read.

Beyond Consequences Institute LLC, 2006

This book on attachment is about understanding a child’s capacity to trust a carer — whether parent, guardian, or professional. It highlights the importance of nurturing secure relationships from early childhood through adolescence and explores the neuroscience underlying attachment as the child’s brain develops.

Dan Hughes introduces the therapeutic stance of PACE — Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy — as a way of approaching traumatised children. He describes it as “a stance that cherishes and invites the development of one person without hurting the development of the other.” By creating a safe and supportive environment, carers can foster genuine connection and trust.

A key message throughout the book is the distinction between behaviour and relationship: however challenging the behaviour, it is vital to keep the relationship with the child alive. Through empathy, carers learn how to manage distress, and Hughes provides practical examples, often in dialogue form, that show how to repair ruptures when things go wrong.

This is an invaluable resource for parents, guardians, and practitioners alike — offering both theory and practice for those seeking to build healing, trust-based relationships with children.

https://www.beyondconsequences.com/

Trauma-informed solutions for Schools, Parents and Professionals.

Heather T. Forbes, LCSW

Our mission is to provide every child and student the opportunity to be parented and taught from a place of love, ending the myth that children can only respond, learn, and bond through fear-based techniques.